


error: file not found

by nygmaniacs



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Psychological Torture, Sorry Not Sorry, Thats how Mr. Robot is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 03:32:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17317271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nygmaniacs/pseuds/nygmaniacs
Summary: Elliot didn't know how or when it happened, all he knew was that it had happened. He was completely and utterly fucked. Was it his fault? Or was it inevitable? Was this supposed to happen? Fuck, no he couldn't start thinking like that. He was going insane, there was no other explanation since he seriously started considering something like fate existed. Him. Elliot. Fate. Laughable.





	error: file not found

**Author's Note:**

> This is hell, wow, I apologise.  
> I also want to apologise because Elliot is probably hella OOC, first time writing him and all. Sorry.  
> This is such a mess
> 
> Inspired by/ based off of this drawing uwu  
> https://twitter.com/intericeage/status/1081633390607167488?s=19

Elliot didn't know how or when it happened, all he knew was that it had happened. He was completely and utterly fucked. Was it his fault? Or was it inevitable? Was this supposed to happen? Fuck, no he couldn't start thinking like that. He was going insane, there was no other explanation since he seriously started considering something like fate existed. Him. Elliot. Fate. Laughable. 

 

But now that he thought about it, he'd rather be crazy for believing in something as stupid as fate than for… well, this.

 

God, he was so fucked. 

 

 

I.

 

Elliot hated HIM, god, how he hated HIM. HE had broken his trust, never telling him the true story. HE kept this big fucking secret from him and HE didn't see a fucking problem with that. Elliot had to admit, pushing HIM out of the window had felt so fucking good, even if he hadn't known what was actually going on during that time. It had been a good decision. He should do that again. 

 

 

II.

 

And then… and then they went to prison. Elliot had gotten the big picture now and he decided that in order to gain back control over Mr. Robot, he had to be locked away. Only have the barest minimum of the barest minimum. It was good, it was perfect, it was exactly what he needed. 

 

That was, until Mr. Robot started getting mad. And it wasn’t his usual “going on a five-hour rant about something wrong with society” mad. This was so much fucking worse and Elliot guessed that this was all his fault, had he just pleaded innocent, had he just stopped ignoring HIM and talked to him then maybe HE wouldn’t have resorted to the worst fucking method of getting Elliot´s attention. 

 

The paranoia he had felt when trying to figure out what Mr. Robot was doing during the hours HE stole Elliot´s time was nothing compared to the paranoia he felt now, just waiting for Mr. Robot to fucking pounce, come across the corner and attempt to kill him again. 

 

This situation was so fucked up, this was him – another part of him – and he actively tried to fucking kill Elliot, or, well, hurt him as much as HE was capable of because Elliot was sure that Mr. Robot´s intent wasn’t to kill him. HE knew he couldn’t, so HE resorted to this mental torture. Killing him but not really. Making him hurt and bleed and the fucking worst of it was, Elliot knew this wasn’t real. He was doing this to himself. 

 

He hated Mr. Robot. He despised him. 

 

 

III. 

 

And then something happened. Elliot couldn’t deny that something between them had shifted. It was like someone had lifted a veil and for the first time since Mr. Robot had revealed who and what HE really was, they were able to actually see each other. 

 

It was the day Ray decided to send his little gang after him and beat him halfway to fucking death. 

 

Being locked away in his own mind and having to endure his life as a bad parody of a stupid fucking 90s sitcom really wasn’t the way Elliot would have expected this all to go down but he guessed Mr. Robot was way more creative than Elliot when it came to these things. Elliot´s creativity started on the keyboard of a computer and it ended there. He relied on his numbers and honestly, they had always been enough. 

 

So, while Elliot was digital, Mr. Robot was analogue. HE didn’t have to only rely on keyboards and numbers. HIS mind was full of colourful plans which HE would definitely work on if it wasn’t for the fact that HE only got so little control over their shared body. Perhaps HE had the stronger and forceful will, always pushing forwards, but in the end, Elliot was protagonist of his body. 

 

Now that that was established, it really wasn’t any kind of surprise that Mr. Robot had a wanton imagination, considering HIS creative torture methods and manipulative ways to win Elliot, and whoever he needed for his plans to succeed, over. 

 

No, he never would have thought his life played out as a sitcom would be Mr. Robot´s first and best choice of an escape from reality so Elliot wouldn’t have to suffer through the pain of getting almost beat to death, but here they were. But of course, because Elliot was Elliot and Mr. Robot was, well, HIM, the thought that this was all for his own benefit didn’t cross his mind. Honestly, how could he? So, the accusations started and he really was bordering on a full-blown panic attack thinking of losing his mind and body forever, when Mr. Robot clarified that HE did all of this for Elliot. HE had taken over, so Elliot wouldn’t have to endure the pain and HE put him through this bizarre fever dream to distract him from anything happening outside of his own mind. 

 

Elliot could only stare, tears in the corners of his eyes. To his credit, this was the same person who had tried to make him feel like he was dying over and over again just a few days ago. 

 

It was a sweet and thoughtful thing to do and Elliot didn’t know how he was supposed to take this, or handle it and that’s why he decided, fuck it, why not go the whole way and hug that fucker and thank him for that. He really owed HIM for that one, not that he would ever admit that out loud. 

 

He guessed that this moment of clarity which showed how they really felt about each other – not like enemies but equals – was the beginning of it all. 

 

 

IV.

 

He had spent so much time hating and fearing Mr. Robot, he had never had the time to realise how much he really needed and wanted HIM in his life and it wasn’t need in the sense that he wouldn’t be able to cope without HIM (which it also totally was), but more in the sense of… HIS presence was exactly what laid him at ease. He knew that as long as he had HIM around, everything would be okay. It should’ve been fucked up, the way Elliot started thinking of Mr. Robot, but it was the only thing in his stupid life that had ever made any sense. 

 

So, naturally, this was the closest he had ever come to actually loving someone. 

 

Fucked up, wasn’t it? When the realisation hit that this is what Elliot was feeling… he had sat in the nook between his bed and nightstand and had a panic attack. 

 

Mr. Robot wasn’t real. HE was a figment of his own mind, HE was a single puzzle piece to the puzzle that was Elliot Alderson. HE wasn’t fucking real. Then why did he fucking feel like that? Why was the only person who could ever comfort him ever since his dad´s death not even a person, at all?

 

 

V. 

 

Elliot needed time to process this. 

 

Elliot started ignoring HIM again, HIS presence not calming anymore, making him uncomfortable instead and Elliot was too much of a pussy to admit that this was all 100% his fault. 

HE got mad, of course HE did. It was in HIS nature and Elliot didn’t expect anything else but it wasn’t HIS fault this time and it hurt Elliot to hurt HIM. This was for the best. 

 

 

VI. 

 

They were back to yelling. 

 

Everything back to normal.

 

Anything before that was just a little error in his code. He had fixed it, everything was back to normal and how it should be. 

 

Then why… why did it feel so wrong?

 

 

VII. 

 

His whole life, Elliot had been an outsider, never one of the normal kids. Besides Angela, his dad had been his best friend and if that didn’t tell you enough about Elliot, then he really didn’t know what else he could say. But he guessed that his whole life he had worked on fitting in at least a little bit, experience what other people experienced and try to see it through their eyes. For some fucking reason, though, he had always had problems that stood in the way of him reaching his goal and feeling like a normal citizen just for fucking once. 

 

Holding Mr. Robot in his arms, he felt like he finally knew what people were talking about when they said they craved a hug or human contact. It felt normal and Elliot didn’t fucking care what it must´ve looked like for anyone who could come barging in. 

 

And when Mr. Robot wrapped HIS arm around Elliot´s shoulder and pulled him close, Elliot didn’t flinch. 

 

And when Mr. Robot leaned in to plant a quick kiss on Elliot´s lips, he didn’t pull away. 

 

“I think I… I think I´m in love with you,” he rasped out. 

And when Mr. Robot looked at him with this small grin on HIS face, Elliot didn’t care that HE only existed in his mind.


End file.
